


you're okay, i... i'm getting there

by meananimagus



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:21:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25143070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meananimagus/pseuds/meananimagus
Summary: "i love you.." the whisper of the words lingered in the quiet morning air as seungkwan remained laying on his side on the bed, eyes trained upon mingyu's sleeping face. his thumb grazing soft brushes into the apple of the taller's cheeks."wonwoo hyung.." seungkwan let out a bitter huff of breath, hot tears began to fall from his eyes and he leaned in to place a soft peck on mingyu's forehead before slipping out of the bed as quiet as he can.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Boo Seungkwan/Kim Mingyu, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	you're okay, i... i'm getting there

musky. the scent was strong and addicting as it is swirling around the confines of the cozy bedroom walls, lingering. he woke up to it. eyelids shaky from sleep, his sight takes in the view before him as memories of the previous night recollect in seungkwan's head.

it all occured to him at once and the events suddenly felt like sucker-punches colliding with his guts, knocking out all the air from his lungs and he doubled over, the corners of his eyes stinging, the threat of an onslaught of tears brimming on the edges. the scrawl of names in the bare of his arms glaring at him, seemingly judging him for what he has done.

there's a fine line that separates fate from a soulmate, and in this twisted dystopian setting they live in, seungkwan has always been aware of it.

mingyu and seungkwan grew up together, they have always been attached to the hip, the inseparable duo, the best of friends. and the worst thing that could happen about having a bestfriend is loving them just a little bit too much than the way you were supposed to. twelve years into having the taller boy by his side, seungkwan couldn't lie that the wishes he murmurs in his head before blowing the candles of his birthday cakes are all about mingyu, are all about wanting to have the boy's name written in his left arm as a permanent tattoo.

he wanted mingyu to be his soulmate, he wanted himself to be mingyu's soulmate. but fate decided to go against him.

fast-forward to mingyu's fifteenth birthday, the striking of twelfth of midnight had him grinning from ear to ear as he bounced to his heels, slamming his fists to the door of seungkwan's house, the distraught boy, awaken from his deep sleep, rubbed his own fists against his eyes before looking up at his intruder, only to be greeted by his own name, a 'boo seungkwan' in bold letters, staining the tanned skin of the birthday boy.

"you're my fated, seungkwan-ah!" excitement bursting from the taller's mouth, seungkwan almost didn't catch the words that flowed out, the 'word' that has been revealed to him. his eyes went back to the arm still displayed in front of him. it's the right arm. his name is tattoed on kim mingyu's right arm. he's no one but mingyu's platonic soulmate, like what a 'fated' is supposed to be.

______

he met chwe hansol when he reached the age of nineteen, one year into having the name written in his left arm, the font even sharper than the name in his right, the ink refusing to be erased, not that seungkwan would admit to it that he attempted to scratch his skin to get rid of it the first second it appeared.

the boy was nothing like mingyu. he's not tall, his body isn't as built as the taller's, he's not as talkative and energetic. hansol always kept to himself, and seungkwan hated it with every fiber of his being. he hated the fact that hansol is his soulmate, that he's destined to be with hansol for the entirety of his life. he loathed the fact that hansol isn't mingyu.

the thing he resented the most, is the name that they found blinking in beautiful letters across mingyu's left arm, the delicate curve of the initial 'j' decorating the sun-kissed skin of his wrist.

and the way mingyu's smile widened upon seeing the name, how his eyes shimmered underneath the myriad of constellations draped overhead their figures, seungkwan's fist clenched as tight as the clutching in his chest.

"seungkwan-ah, wonwoo hyung is my soulmate." mingyu spoke in a breathless fashion, his tone laced with genuine joy and contentment,

"i've always been in love with him."

______

jeon wonwoo is an enigma, the most complicated complexity that seungkwan could barely wrapped his head around. with the numerous nights that mingyu cried himself to sleep, his face always resembled a kicked puppy, seungkwan grew to hate his bestfriend's soulmate even more.

"he told me he's scared. scared enough to not take a risk on me." mingyu blurted out after an hour of muted silence, they were both seated on his bed, backs against the wall, mingyu's face buried in his arms.

mingyu told him how soulmates scares wonwoo because his dad is an alcoholic and he always went home with different girls on his side while their mom stood silent on the corner of their living room, palms pressing into his son's ears to prevent the sounds coming from their bedroom to reach his hearing. mingyu tells him how much wonwoo despises his dad and the fact that his mom got him as a soulmate.

why would the stars destine his mom to be with a horrible person?

mingyu also tells him that night how no matter how much wonwoo pushes him away, he would always want to stay. a lump forming in seungkwan's throat, seeing his bestfriend looked so deeply in love and wondered why he couldn't be the lucky person to receive that.

______

"i love you.." the whisper of the words lingered in the quiet morning air as seungkwan remained laying on his side on the bed, eyes trained upon mingyu's sleeping face. his thumb grazing soft brushes into the apple of the taller's cheeks.

"wonwoo hyung.." seungkwan let out a bitter huff of breath, hot tears began to fall from his eyes and he leaned in to place a soft peck on mingyu's forehead before slipping out of the bed as quiet as he can.

it was stupid of him. he was stupid. he has always been stupid, stupidly in love with his bestfriend, stupidly against fate and the stars and what the world they live in has given him. stupid enough to think that one night of intimacy and strong touches and hard press of lips against his tingling skin would be enough to change everything. as if the way mingyu's hands curled around seungkwan's wrists would imprint his name on his left wrist instead of the right. as if seungkwan's kisses that trailed along the length of mingyu's arms would change the name that's written on them, that seungkwan's name would replace wonwoo's.

that's all there is to it.

seungkwan will always be the person that would spend the miserable nights with mingyu as they sin on the former's bed, mingyu's head intoxicated with alcohol and seungkwan's mind briddled with his selfish emotions.

he would let mingyu pound into him while he sat on his lap, his hips meeting mingyu's sharp thrusts, and chokes on his tears everytime he hears the taller speak of wonwoo's name in between the slapping of their skins.

and when he doesn't wake up first in the morning, he will be greeted by mingyu's apologetic gaze from the kitchen counter and a couple of pancakes for breakfast. mingyu never talks about it with him, but the way his bestfriend looks at him tells seungkwan enough of the regrets that displays themselves in his bronze orbs. moreover, the ringing of mingyu's phone and the popping of wonwoo's name on the screen that causes a light to brighten up the boy's face, seungkwan knows he's a mistake. he will never be able to make mingyu happy the way wonwoo does. he will never be the one that mingyu would do everything for to be happy.


End file.
